ARE YOU HAVING CONFLICTS WHERE YOU SEEM TO HAVE THE SAME FIGHT OVER AND OVER BUT FOR DIFFERENT REASONS?

It’s Normal for Couples to Experience Conflicts and Anger

Conflict is a part of life. Becoming angry with your partner can occur for reasons as simple as having a difference of opinion or they leave the cap off the toothpaste. However, disagreements can help an individual understand their spouse or partner better. And, it’s important for a couple to not just count their conflicts or how often they quarrel, but to understand how they manage to reach a resolution at the end of an argument and recall their attachment to each other and the importance of their relationship. This restores the closeness that you want to feel your partner.

Conflict Can Be Beneficial

While it’s hard to imagine any couples who don’t fight, in fact, couples who don’t have disagreements are missing out on the opportunity to learn from conflict. Conflicts can be healthy for any relationship, if they don’t occur too frequently or with intensity that is out of control.

It isn’t unhealthy to have conflict in your relationship; rather, it is the lack of repair that is quite often the problem. It is the reconciliation aspect that helps couples determine whether their relationship is healthy or not. The Couples Expert, using research-proven methods outlined in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), can assist you in making the transition from anger to understanding.

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HOW EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED THEREAPY WILL HELP YOU OVERCOME ANGER

  • Identifies triggers that spark conflict in your relationship.
  • Changes the way you “fight” and teaches you and your partner new cycles of communication.
  • Develops a secure bond between partners.

When a couple fights too often, it is counter productive to creating understanding. Learning to control your anger can allow you and your partner to feel each other’s commitment to the relationship and give each other the love and respect you both crave. Understanding your partner’s feelings allows you to build on your relationship. Marriage is not something that will take care of itself. You must create a relationship that is represented by love, security, and most importantly, respect for each other.

SOME TIPS TO HELP YOU IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW

  • Put down the smartphone—talk to each other rather than text. Have a conversation and show interest in your partner. Use this as an opportunity to learn something new about them. Shared interests bring you closer.
  • Try going to bed at the same time as your partner. Going to bed a little earlier than normal may even prevent tiredness the next day and make you less irritable.
  • Pick up coffee from your favorite spot without being asked. Brew your partner a cup of tea and butter their toast for them. Little gestures mean a lot.
  • If you feel yourself getting angry at your partner, don’t escalate the fight with harsh words. Be mindful of how what you are saying sounds to another. Don’t ignore your body language, either. A touch on the arm can convey caring, and leaning forward and maintaining eye contact show you are interested in what the other is saying.

What Should We Do Next?

If you would like to explore couples counseling working with me, please call 480-248-6484, or use my contact form to connect with me or schedule a free 30-minute telephone consultation. We look forward to hearing from you.

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