SEXUAL INTIMACY: HOW TO IGNITE YOUR SEX LIFE WITH TOUCH AND PLAY
Sexual intimacy is critical for a healthy relationship. You must be willing to make your relationship a priority. One way is to make sure your relationship is playful. One thing you want to understand is How play and touch can enhance your level of intimacy with your partner. Are you feeling bored, stuck, or uninspired? These are some of the words that couples use when they come in for counseling to improve their relationship. These are usually people that have been married for years or in a rut with their relationship. When sexual intimacy and physical affection are lost, no matter the reasons, it can seem like an impossible task to regain that aspect of the relationship. The good news is that it’s not impossible! You can restore your love life, rediscover the passion that you once felt together and revive your love life with play.
Why Playfulness? Playfulness is the key to unlocking your passion and physical intimacy. When was the last time you played together; teased, flirted, or wrestled around? For many of you, sadly, it may have been months, even years. I’m here to tell you that you can start again today to play with your partner, and it won’t be long before you’re able to feel comfortable and relaxed enough with your partner to resume physical intimacy with each other no matter your age or physical limitations.
Keep it fun!
Play brings out the fun and takes away the anxiety about performance, appearances and worry about how our partner will see us. This is critical as one of the ingredients of sexual intimacy. For couples who have been in a long-term monogamous relationship, these are very real concerns as we age, and our bodies change. We’re not as physically fit or “pretty” as we were when we were young, but on the inside, in our biggest sex organ (our brains), we’re just as sexual, virile, and passionate as we’ve always been. What a joy it is to discover that inside of each other after being apart! You’re both still the same people on the inside, even if the outward appearance has changed over time.
Start Where You Are
The best way to bridge the gap that time and relationship problems has opened between you and your partner is to start where you are. Start by getting closer physically, touching, holding hands, snuggling, cuddling. Talk about what you want from your partner, discuss your fears and concerns. You both will have them. Do more non-sexual touching. When you’re feeling comfortable being in proximity and touching each other’s bodies, go to the next level. Sexual touching and sex play without any goals. Just have fun and be together and see what happens next. Talk about your personal desires and boundaries. Engage in anything and everything that the two of you find exciting and desirable.
This is where your passion will ignite. In the times between when you are planning these play sessions, tease them, talk about them, rev up your passion and build up to that time that you will spend together. Anticipate what you’ll do together at that time and see if your playfulness doesn’t bring about a huge shift in the way you and your partner are interacting daily. When you’re feeling playful and happy, everything else looks more positive and you’re more likely to be able to work through those issues that come up rather than escalate them. This type of positive interaction will lead to more positive interactions in other areas of your relationship. The message here is that All you need to do is to shift your interest and energy back into your partner’s direction. Renew your courtship, find the romance, and infuse your interactions with your partner with the passion you both crave. It can be awkward or difficult to find your way back but there are resources available to help you do this.
Make Your Partner Your Passion
This is the most important point of all. Meet your partner anew and get back into the deep connection that you had when you first fell in love. Work every day on showing each other how deeply and passionately you care for each other. Make your partner a priority in your life and build that passion to a fever pitch. This renewed passion will carry over into all other areas of both your lives.
Do Something Fun That Will Bring You Closer
Travel: Find your passion in discovering new places together
Hobbies: Take up a hobby together that you both can enjoy
Take a Class: Try cooking or salsa dancing or take an exercise class together
Make Bedtime Something to Look Forward To
Sex Play: Bring passion back by trying something new such as role play or sex toys.
Fantasies: Share your sexual fantasies with each other and explore some erotica together.
Get a Room: Surprise your partner with a romantic dinner at a hotel and book a room for the night.
Take note…
You and your partner can also find adventures that you can share together. This is part of rebuilding that connection that you may feel has been lost. Be adventurous and bold and you will be passionately rewarded.
