New Years Eve lessons for your relationship is important to consider. Use this year’s lessons to make 2023 a better year. Retrospectives at the end of the year are nothing new. It seems to be a common human thing for us to take a look back at the previous year. We note our accomplishments in our holiday letters to our friends and family and we celebrate them. We look back at how far we’ve come since the beginning of the year in our studies, our careers, our families.

This year’s end I would like for you to do a different type of retrospective. This December, take a look back at your relationships with your partners, children and friends. Did you learn anything this year? What lessons can you take from events and circumstances that can move your relationships forward to a deeper and more loving place in the coming year? How can you connect with your partner in a deeper and more authentic way?  

Here are some thoughts on applying lessons learned in 2022 to create more loving and satisfying relationships in your life  in 2023.

With Your Partner

  • Time – Everyone says it’s quality not quantity, when it comes to spending time with your partner. That’s not always the case. We’re all busy living our lives, working, raising families, etc. Time spent with your partner should be both of good quality, where you are shutting out the rest of the world and just being together; and of a sufficient quantity so that you both feel loved and important, and valued to one another. Make this new years eve the beginning and change that.


  • Communication – Over time, couples tend to develop a kind of shorthand communication. We talk about superficial things, the immediate things, and that’s fine. We also tend to assume we know what our partner is thinking and feeling. It’s not always accurate. One of the ways you can have a more meaningful connection with your partner in the coming year is to go deeper. Talk about feelings, talk about hopes, goals and dreams. Make plans for the future and be vulnerable and authentic with each other about what you want and need.  Include conversations about your intimate life. Is there enough touch in your relationship? Not just about intimate touch but affection(hugging , kissing, cuddling etc)
  • Togetherness– Some of the happiest couples spend a great deal of time together. They have shared experiences, plan to do things together, and make memories together every chance they get. If you’ve not been doing this, it’s not too late. Make 2023 the year of togetherness with your partner. Is there enough fun in your relationship?  Date nights, laughing, humor, walks in the park, walking the dog together , going to Costco and having a slice of pizza and a coke when you two are shopping together?  Do you even do those things together. Working out, riding bikes, attending sport activities etc there are so many possibilities make some plans for this if you aren’t doing enough. This new years eve can you make your togetherness the most important thing for the rest of the year.
  • Be kind instead of right – Sometimes we get so fixated on being right that we forget that our partner deserves to have our kindness, always. Resist the urge to say “I told you so” and instead be gracious when you’re right, and humble enough to admit when you are wrong. 
  • Non-compete clause – Your relationship is not a competition. While it’s not a bad thing to be a little competitive in life,  you and your partner are on the same team and should not be competing against each other. You should only be trying to outdo each other when it comes to who is the more loving partner. Although if you are playing pickleball all bets are off that is a different story….LOL Seriously you should alway be loving and kind.
  • Compromise – Instead of holding a line and being confrontational or adversarial, try compromise. The more you are willing to give, the more it shows your partner how dedicated you are to your relationship. Be an example of kindness and compassion, and work to find the common ground in every disagreement. 

With Your Children

  • Never be too busy – You are given your children for a short while so don’t squander it. Take time to stop and give them your undivided attention. There should be nothing more important in the moment than your child needing you.  This makes your child feel important and loved, and goes far in helping them gain a sense of their own self-worth. Include the children this new years eve and spend it with them.


  • One on one – Spend alone time with your child, just the two of you. If you have multiple children, or a blended household, this is even more important, especially for fathers. Carve out time in your busy schedule to take one child with you, even just to the store or on an errand. Encourage them to share how their life is going. This sets up a great pattern for teen years and beyond.


  • Model good behavior and a loving relationship – The best thing you can do for your childrens’ future is to show them how to be a good parent and loving partner. Resolve to be this for them in the coming year. There’s nothing wrong with showing affection to your partner in front of your children, or having them see you apologize or admit a fault. On the contrary, it’s important for their own growth and development to see that their parents aren’t perfect. 


  • Minimize materialism – Normalize doing things together as a family, whether it be home improvement projects, volunteer work or helping a friend or neighbor. Show your kids that life is not all about the pursuit of wealth and who has the best toys. It’s important to teach the value of things that have nothing to do with money.

With Your Friends 

  • Check-in – We never truly know what someone is going through. The holidays are not always a joyful time for everyone. Check-in on your friends. The only way to keep friendship alive is to cultivate those relationships and to be a friend. If you’ve had a tough year and haven’t been keeping in touch. You have a chance to change that in 2023. 
  • Meetup – Keep friendships alive by meeting up with your friends for a coffee date or a meal on a semi-regular basis. Walk your dogs together or go listen to music. Share your joys and sorrows with those people who love you for you. Friendship enriches our lives and keeps us from feeling lonely.
  • Listen – Be that friend who helps,  who is a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear for someone in need. You might be the only one who is. If you know someone who is lonely can you include them in your new years eve plans.

With The World Around You

  • Authenticity – Be true with your words and actions. Be honest and authentic in your dealings. Deepen your connections with Nature and go to places that feed your soul. Forge true and lasting connections with people and places.


  • Be Bold – Let 2023 be the year that you step out into the world in a bolder way. Chase your dreams, travel, go check off those items on your “bucket list. There’s no time like the present to live the life that you’ve always wanted to live. You have the power within you to create your best life.

Let’s learn the lessons of the previous year(s), and look forward to 2023 as a time to truly live the authentic and deeply connected life we deserve. This new years eve should only be the beginning on focusing on making your relationship an exceptional one!