Family relationships and The Holidays
Family relationships can be difficult over the holidays. While the holidays can be a joyous time for families; time with your partner, special traditions you share with your family, it can also be a stressful time. Becoming too overburdened with commitments, family obligations, financial stress, and travel can hamper our ability to enjoy the holidays. Here are some ways to reduce holiday stress and enjoy your partner and your family traditions this holiday season.
- Make your partner and family the priority
Plan your family time or one on one time with your partner in between social obligations and the hustle and bustle of shopping. Movie nights, decorating the tree, game nights and a family advent calendar observance are ways to reduce holiday stress help with family relationships. This will help by bringing you closer to one another and sharing special times together. You’lll never have another chance to share this holiday season in 2022. You’re making memories that will last a lifetime, so make them good ones.
- Don’t overextend yourselves
It’s easy to become spread too thin during the holidays thinking we must do all the things, say yes to all the invitations and buy gifts for everyone. Instead of overspending on meaningless gifts, over extending yourself emotionally and becoming exhausted and crabby, reduce holiday stress by talking things over with your partner. Decide together exactly what invitations you will accept, who will receive gifts and how you’ll best be spending time together this holiday season. Who knows? It may be time to stop all the running around and begin your own traditions right there at home with your loved ones. Remember taking care of your family relationships emotionally and being self protective is not selfishness. Many people have not learned this skill.
- Make gift giving intentional
A great way to reduce holiday stress is to be more intentional with gift giving. Instead of giving gifts just for the sake of it, try asking those on your list what they would like that they wouldn’t buy for themselves. In these difficult financial times, you might ask someone who is struggling if you can help out by making a payment for them, or purchasing a grocery or gas gift card. Giving to a charity of someones choice is also a fun way. An example of this may be the Animal humane society is a wonderful one. Plus it’s a tax deduction on top of making someone on your list feel important to you.
- Avoid uncomfortable or difficult interactions with family
You are not in any way obligated to spend time with people who make you uncomfortable or those who have toxic or negative energy simply because they are related to you. Give yourself permission to avoid those situations to reduce holiday stress and have a joyful holiday. You don’t owe an explanation to those people, simply say, “I’m not coming this year I am doing my own celebration, happy holidays.” There might be backlash with regards to the family relationships from parents or other relatives, but your well-being trumps their notion of family obligations.
- Reduce travel
There are so many reasons to reduce travel, but the main one is to reduce holiday stress. One alternative to running around to many friends and family’s holiday get-togethers is to select the few that you want to attend, then invite the others to an open house or gift exchange at your home or a restaurant on a day leading up to the holiday, where those who truly want to see you can come to you or meet in a neutral location that is convenient to you all.
- Be Kind and Giving
There are so many gifts you can give that help you feel the warmth of the holidays without creating stress. You can volunteer, give of your time, donate to toy drives, make food to share with less fortunate friends, and simply reach out with a message or phone call. Easing the holiday stress for others can have the same effect on you. It does your heart good to help others.
- Check in
One important point is to be able to recognize when you are feeling stressed and look for the cause. If you are overtired, give yourself permission to rest. If you are stressed about cooking, it’s okay to order in. Check in with your partner often taking care of the family relationships and with yourself as well to be sure that you’re not overextending yourselves. It’s so easy to do. The same goes with children or youngsters of any age. They can get overtired and anxious from too much “fun” at the holidays, so be aware and check in with them. Nobody will be having fun if the kids start melting down. Mom is sure not to be far behind.
- Take care of yourself
If you find you’re not enjoying yourself or you’re feeling anxious or worried, take a step back, take a deep breath and regroup. Learning to say no when you feel pressure to say yes is an important lesson to learn. It’s not selfish to put yours and your partner’s needs above those of your social circle or extended family. You won’t be feeling up for anything if you let yourself become overwhelmed or overextended. When this happens there’s a huge let down or “crash” that happens for many people, and it can take days to get yourself balanced and back to normal again. You deserve to do what is best for yourself, your partner and your family. It’s actually a healthier choice to put your mental and emotional well-being as a priority. The saying that you cannot pour from an empty cup is true. If you allow your emotional or physical resources to be depleted, it’s exponentially more difficult for you to give of yourself to others. You certainly will not be able to enjoy the holiday season nearly as much.
Wishing you good health and happiness this holiday season.
- It’s not always going to be jolly for all
The holidays can bring up a lot of emotions for some people regarding the loss of parents or elders or feeling sadness at missing loved ones that are gone or far away. Not everyone you meet is going to be looking forward to the holidays and all the memories that come up this time of year. Being sensitive to this fact can help reduce holiday stress for someone else this season. Offer a hug or a listening ear to those who need it, and be understanding when they don’t feel like coming out to a party or a social event. Those people can use some tender care from friends and family, don’t pressure them, but do reach out to let them know they’re not suffering alone.
