Sharing Activities With Your Partner
Sharing activities with our partner appears easy initially. When we first enter a relationship we are often trying to find things in common with the object of our desire. This means we sometimes adopt our beloved’s interests in music, movies, sports and the like. Over time, one partner’s interest can wane, and the shared activity becomes less fun and begins to feel like more of an obligation. While it’s great to have shared hobbies, and even some friendly competition in sporting ventures, it’s not crucial to a relationship for both parties to share every activity. It’s also just not realistic.
Many happy couples share a love of doing some things in common. Whether it be motorcycle riding, golf, skiing, boating or hiking, they both enjoy it together. However, it’s not a pre-requisite for a successful relationship. Being a good partner doesn’t mean you must go along with your partner in every activity and they shouldn’t expect you to.
A good partner is sensitive to their loved one’s likes and dislikes, and if there is something they feel passionate about, they should feel free to pursue it with their partner’s full support if not participation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with one partner indulging in their love of martial arts, for example, while their partner is passionate about yoga. The yoga partner can support her partner by attending competitions for martial arts disciplines, while the martial arts practitioner can send his partner off to a yoga retreat with a happy heart. This give and taken sharing activities is part of what makes a true partnership work. Giving each person the room to have their individual and collective likes and dislikes, and to respect their choices to pursue what gives them pleasure, enjoyment, and purpose in their lives is what makes us happier overall.
Compromise is the foundation of successful partnerships. Coercing a partner to participate with you in something they don’t enjoy can create problems and lead to resentment. Instead, sharing activities is important to strive to find a balance where each partner feels that what they care about is important, and supported.
You can choose to give up a Saturday afternoon to watch your partner play softball or bowl in her league as a compromise.. Do it with a smile, don’t check your phone every five minutes, and don’t complain about it. Let her feel the love and support you are giving her and don’t make it about you. On the other hand, she can choose to take a motorcycle run with you or play a round of golf for an afternoon of your choosing. Keep it light and make it fun while letting each other know that you support and are rooting for them.
Who knows? You may light on something that you both can enjoy, and when that happens, you will treasure your time together even more. It’s great to look for something you can do together, but you have to have your partner’s buy -in to make it happen. It’s a good idea to talk about these things and see if you can reach a compromise on activities you can do as a couple, and still keep the individual pusuits that you enjoy most.
The most well-rounded and healthy people are working to keep that balance between the individual life, and the couple life. When we’re attached to a partner, our lives are progressively intertwined. It’s not a bad thing to continue to enjoy something “just for you.” Sharing activities is wonderful but doesn’t have to be the only thing you do. If it’s not something that your partner wants to participate in, give him/her a pass and the room to do the same. You can live as a couple and still keep things that are just for you, and your partner has permission to do the same. When you come together for shared activities, it’s even sweeter. The main thing is to let each other know that you are loved and supported in whatever you pursue, whether or not you participate.
