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Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 152 of our show.  Stuart is speaking today about the ghost of our past relationships that continue to haunt us and how to exorcise them from our lives.

We can tend to get into patterns that repeat; we get stuck in these ways of interacting in relationships that are a carryover from the past. Listen as how Stuart shows us how to get rid of those ghosts that haunt us and to live in the moment, in the present with our partners and to break those patterns so they can no longer harm us.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

  • Where the triggers come from in the past 2:45

  • You can understand the pattern and change it 5:20

  • When you believe the lies of the past they can stay with you 7:23

  • You deserve to have the loving relationship you desire 10:00

  • You have to get rid of the ghosts that block your connection 12:12

  • A guided exorcism by your Jewish, counselor exorcist 17:25

We know in our heads that our partners don’t want to hurt us; it’s those voices in our heads from our pasts that are the enemy. Sometimes you just need some distance; a time out to cool off so that you can come back together calmly later on and talk about what is triggering you. You have to be a team to unite against those ghosts that threaten your security and happiness.

When you pull together and show love, you can defeat the patterns and change them. You must be willing to become vulnerable together and share what’s happening in the moment.  The good news is that you can move forward living mindfully in the present with the one who loves you most in the world. The two of you united fight the negativity of the past together. The life you create together overshadows those ghosts of the past.

[spp-tweet tweet=”If you can begin to identify what’s really going on and understand the pattern, you can absolutely change it”]

The Couples Expert Is Sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Get some free advice from Stuart sent directly to your email inbox. These gems can help you improve your relationship today! https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/

Subscribe: You can subscribe to The Couples Expert Podcast on iTunes. Stuart would love it if you’d write a review or suggest a future topic. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2

The Couples Expert Wants To Hear From You!

Email: You can email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com and tell him about your relationship, ask questions or suggest a guest or future topic for the show. Stuart reads and responds to each and every email.

Thank you so much for spending part of your day with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. We hope today’s show has been helpful and meaningful to you. Until next time, stay positive, and stay connected.

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Next Week on The Couples Expert Podcast

Please join Stuart next week when he discusses sexuality and the impact of pornography on expectations surrounding your sex life.

Explore Additional Points

The message that Stuart is sending to all of you is that it’s possible to work together and turn all of these negatives to positives and you can have an authentic love that will last. It’s worth the energy to fix it because the opposite result is the worst case scenario. A bad relationship is like a cancer that will eat away at your very being.

Tell your partner today that you listened to The Couples Expert and he told you that there is a way out of this madness and having a love where we both feel important is absolutely possible. Tell them that you will make your relationship more important. That you understand the value of your relationship and you’re willing to work on the relationship together to make each other happy. That your partner’s happiness means as much to you as your own.

Look at the things in your relationship that are and are not working for you and your happiness. Ask your partner to support you in being the best person you can be. Tell them that you’re working on yourself. If you need counseling, please don’t delay. People wait far too long to seek help and then it’s too late. It’s not too late for you today.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

My favorite part of doing these podcasts is participating in the conversations they provoke. Each week I present one question, and this week, here is our focus: Question: What is an area in your life that has been impacted by your relationship with your partner?

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