WHAT IS EFT?

Hello. Welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim The Couples Expert. This is episode 151 of our show. Today Stuart is going to talk about what moves him to help couples. The type of counseling that he does is called Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT. Stuart is going to talk about what EFT is all about and how it helps couples and families feel more connected and learn how to meet each other’s attachment needs; what they need to feel loved and important to one another. You should only seek help for your relationship by a counselor that uses this EFT model and subscribes to an attachment based theory. All relationship problems are attachment based problems, lack of emotional connection, the behavior is only a symptom.

This is the week after Valentine’s Day. If you had a spectacular and wonderful time, Stuart would like for you to send him an email and tell him about it. He’s collecting that information so that he can share in a future podcast. You can email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

Stuart just got back from Orlando, Florida where he spoke at Podfest 2018. Travel and speaking engagements are great, but coming home to his wife Debbie is the best part of traveling for him.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• Emotionally Focused Therapy & The Gottman Method use the EFT process (an attachment model) for counseling couples   3:42
• What is EFT and why it’s unique in counseling 6:45
• EFT techniques are used to reframe negative patterns and then change the conversation   8:00
• How negative patterns affect how we view our partners 13:30
• EFT is research and science based with high success rates and measurable results 16:40
• The goal is to learn the language of attachment 20:07
• Identifying and addressing the cycle you’re in with your partner 22:55

[spp-tweet tweet=”When you feel happy, when you feel grateful, stop and take a moment to just breathe and feel it.”]

The true enemy is not your partner, it’s the negative cycle and the interpretations that you have about each other that escalates the conflict and magnifies the problems. Once you unite against that common enemy through the EFT process, you begin to feel better. Happiness comes back into your lives through EFT and while the two of you are working on your relationship, each partner is working on themselves individually because they now have a clear understanding of what’s been missing in the process up to this point.

Domestic Violence and Drug or Alcohol abuse are the two issues that EFT can’t address. If there’s violence in the home, no one can feel safe enough to expose themselves vulnerably to one another .This issue has to be addressed separately. Addicts in recovery may benefit from EFT if they are ready to take the step of making amends and rebuilding relationships. Those who are active in their addictions must address that separately from couple’s therapy.

This Podcast is Sponsored by: Hold Me Tight – The Two Days Seven Conversations Weekend. You and your partner can learn to connect in a way that will have you learning the conversations that you should be having with one another to be closely connected. You can spend two days with your partner to do just this. Learn more here: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/hold-me-tight/

More about EFT:
What is EFT?
How Couples Therapy Has Changed

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The Couples Expert Wants To Hear From You!

Email: You can email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com and tell him about your relationship, ask questions or suggest a guest or future topic for the show. Stuart reads and responds to each and every email.

We’d like to thank you for spending part of your day with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. Until next time, stay connected!